you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
