I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
