Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
