i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She's the barista slut.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
