You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
