So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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