The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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