i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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