Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
