I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
