I wannas sexs uuuuu
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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