i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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