Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain