I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
