He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
