i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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