I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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