Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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