so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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