i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
