Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
