So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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