i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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