dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
