he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
