69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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