Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
