he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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