I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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