Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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