so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
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Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize