Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I had to cum in my sink.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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