..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
