Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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