I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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