didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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