I'm so fucking centered right now
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
