jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
