It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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