Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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