guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
