just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
