nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
