Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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