You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
