Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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