i was born a porn star she said
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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