Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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