to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Terrible idea I love it
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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