i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
