summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
