im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This is classic penis vs brain.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
