Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize