my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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