I wanna passion pit in your ass
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
