then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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