we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Randomize
