1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
