she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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