I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
