I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
