your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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