Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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