my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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