he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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