My cat gives me a boner
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
