do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
