dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
