Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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