Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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