i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
