I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
