at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
