Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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